Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Vale David Alberts

So much for sharing with you the joys, sorrows and frustrations one experiences working as an AIN in a nursing home. Instead, in my first four of five posts, I have railed against my employer, it’s managers and the aged care industry in general. If you interested in Aged Care and it’s careless business, I urge you to visit
http://www.agedcarecrisis.com/acc/
“an independent web site setup for the primary purpose of representing our elderly citizens with regards to aged care issues”.

In this post I will attempt and no doubt fail to stay on-topic, continuing on from where I left off in “We do Good”.

Dave Alberts lingered for a couple of weeks, dying a few days before Christmas. I remember coming on duty at 6:30 am, after my days off to find his bed empty, stripped of all its linen. In the handover report, we were told Dave died sometime between four and five. We must have only just missed saying goodbye to Dave’s mortal remains, because before the undertakers will come to collect a body, a Doctor has to be called in to cursorily view the body and sign the death certificate (failure of the heart muscle), and one can wait hours for a Doctor from an after-hours service to arrive to render this duty.

So if Dave died between 4:00 and 5:00 am, he died alone. Alone because Cathy and Ingrid, the two nurses on night duty would have been occupied with their third and final full nursing round of the shift, going from one resident to the next, checking their pads (disposable continence aide – like a jumbo babies nappy) to see if its soaked with enough urine to mandate changing, and if so washing the resident’s front and bottom; Turning those residents who are unable to reposition themselves in bed, from one side to the other, to avoid the formation of pressure sores. Changing any soiled bedclothes or soaked draw sheets, and even showering a resident if they are too faecally incontinent or worse if a colostomy bag has exploded. Woe the stench.

Dodgy Brothers caring management deem an adequate staffing level for the night duty shift, which is from 10:30 pm to 6:30 am to be one AIN and one EEN (Endorsed Enrolled Nurse) for 40 residents on C-wing, with one Registered Nurse (RN) to oversee the care of a hundred residents in the three wings of the facility. For C-wing, two nurses to do three ‘care’ rounds, and in between rounds to do the required documentation and the day and evening shift’s accumulated filing, answer resident’s buzzers and cries for attention, fulfilling their wants: a sip of water, cup of tea, a banana, sandwiches, ice-cream, biscuits, another box of tissues, bed pan or be gotten out of bed and taken to the toilet, heat pack, Panadol, sleeping pills, another blanket, turn the air conditioners up or down, take Rosie out of their room. Finally there is the walk round the wing every fifteen minutes to check residents are asleep, that none are trying to climb over the bed rails or worse fallen out of bed.

Normally on night duty, two nurses are barely adequate. Not however when a resident is dying. With three full care rounds and a hundred and one fiddly little time-consuming tasks, there is little ‘unproductive’ time to sit with a dying resident. There is also little incentive, and some nurses are emotionally unable, or too drained to cope. But Cathy and Ingrid who are without doubt night duty’s A-team could and would have tried. They’d skimped on duties, and skipped their breaks so that one of them could sit with Dave.

Like many residents, Dave appeared to be scared of dying, and having a nurse sit with him, hold his hand and tell him it was “Ok”, seemed to comfort him. Julia and I took turns sitting with Dave during the slack time on evening shift, which is towards the end of the shift, after most of our duties were done and most residents sleeping. I held his bony hand in mine, stroking his rough, dry paper-like skin with my fingers. Dave dozed on and off, opening his eyes to stare at me. I’d smile at him, tell him how good his life had been and how beautiful his wife Bessie still was. There was a photo on his bed-side table of Bessie taken soon after the war. She was a good looking woman who had aged gracefully unlike Dave.

Truth is I didn’t know if Dave’s life had been good. Born in Barcaldine, Dave enlisted in the army in 1941, aged 20, serving with the 2/9th Battalion. Dave fought at Milne bay, where for the first time the allies resisted and finally repelled the Japanese army until then all-conquering. Dave married Bessie soon after the war, they bought a house at Coopers Plains and had two daughters. Dave represented Queensland in rugby, and worked for the railways.

Dave was admitted to the nursing home about three years ago, with Parkinson’s disease, dementia and difficulties with swallowing. When he was admitted he could walk short distances with the aide of a rollator and a couple of nurses to steady him, but soon lost the ability to even stand, partly because there were not enough nursing and physiotherapy hours to persist with this activity. Dave deteriorated rapidly, acquiring contractures in the legs. To prevent these worsening, Dave spent several uncomfortable hours each day in a fall-out chair, with his knees able to bend only slightly. As comfortable as these chairs are, Dave always looked uncomfortable in them. He rarely spoke but stared at you accusingly, especially when you tried to feed him his unpresentable, unpalatable “texture modified” meal. Think of the worst baby’s food you have ever seen, then have it regurgitated , and you may begin to appreciate how unappetising these “soft” meals look. If you are what you eat, then no wonder every resident at Dodgy Brothers Care looks elderly and frail and sick.

Dave was a difficult and time consuming feed, one some nurses tried to avoid getting stuck with. He would often cough when he a mouth full of food, and several times I ended up wearing half his meal on my uniform. If he wasn’t ready for another mouthful, he’d shake his head, and often a nurse would take this as a signal that Dave did not want more of his meal, even when he had only consumed a few spoonfuls.

To force feed a resident who does not want to eat may be construed as assault and Dodgy Brother’s bulging policy and procedure’s manual is most definite on client assault: Instant Dismissal. No ifs. No buts. Dodgy Brother’s is very big on protecting it’s clients. However I have often seen residents with bruised lips, perhaps caused by a spoon being forced past clenched lips. I admit I have even done it myself. I wish Dodgy Brother’s forest destroying document was as big on defining adequate staffing levels. For if it were, perhaps we would have enough nurses and nursing hours to spend the time necessary to make sure a resident eats as much of their meal in as leisurely a fashion as they want or were used to before age and infirmity incarcerated them in a nursing home.

Instead meal times are rushed affairs, with nurses trying to hurry feeding a resident so that all residents can be fed in the time allowed. All Dodgy Brother’s Care facilities in South East Queensland have the resident’s meals prepared at a secured central catering facility, which for some reason nurses refer to as “Soylent green”. Meals are cooked and stored using the ‘cook-chill’ method, which involves rapidly freezing huge catering trays containing the meal. A refrigerated truck visits once a week, usually late at night, when residents are all asleep to offload several trolleys stacked high with these trays, which are then rolled into the freezers.

If it’s the second Monday on the Winter menu, for dinner the catering trays containing Soylent Green’s attempt at Mongolian Lamb, both normal and “texture-modified” are taken out of the freezer, and placed in the regenerator to be heated and then served to the residents. The only difference between a normal meal and a ‘texture-modified’ meals is that the later tray is put though an industrial blender first coming out as is soft sludgy muck. Presentation. Presentation. Presentation. Not.

The cook-chill system of regenerating and serving meals is now the standard in Aged Care facilities. Owners and Managers of nursing homes love it because it is such a money saver. You do not have to hire cooks and you can slash your kitchen staff and hence employee payroll expenses. For management there is one slight drawback with the system: Meals must be consumed within ninety minutes of regeneration because of the slight possibility of bacterial contamination leading to food poisoning. For residents there is one major drawback: no freshly prepared on the premises home cooked meals.

By the time the catering trays of Normal and Texture-Modified Mongolian Lamb are placed in C-wings dented Bain Marie, ready for plating to residents, up to forty five minutes may have passed since the trays left the regenerators. That leaves less than an hour to fed the residents.

Currently six of C-wing’s residents require no assistance or supervision with their meals. Nine require supervision and or partial assistance to eat their meals – so that Mary does not pour her cup of milky tea onto her plate of Mongolian lamb, or so that Rosie the ‘hobbit’ does not succeed installing Mary’s and Eugenia’s sweats, or Jack again leaving his dentures in the powdered scrambled egg, or to stop Vincent from choking once more from trying to ram his whole meal down his throat in one go.

The remaining 25 residents of C-wing require total assistance with their meals: they have to be fed every mouthful of their meal and given every sip of their drink.

Dear reader (if any) please feel free to do the mathematics: For breakfast and lunch, five AINs and two RNs to assist 25 fully and 9 partially dependent residents with their meals in less than forty five minutes. For the evening meal the figures are even worse: four AIN and one RN. A nurse has at most ten minutes to feed a resident their meal!!! No wonder the weight fell off Dave.

Well once again I have slipped off topic. I wanted to focus on Dave’s death, and I have drifted into describing how a nursing home works. I’m going to stop now and try again later. Since I began writing this post almost two weeks ago, two residents of C-wing have died. I’m heading home to see my mother for a week. It would be Dad’s 81st birthday next Sunday, so I want to be home with Mum. Before Dad died I made him a promise – I promised to look after Mum and I am not living up to this promise.
So until I return Good bye.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

My Quiescence Ends!

Greetings to my legion of dedicated fans. Belatedly I return to this, my humble blog. The fire has not dimmed and the fight against the Evil Empire continues…

The renovations at Dodgy Brothers Tree-Stumps, still continues unabated! More than four years have now passed since the anagramatically and aptly named “a maudlin clunk” - Ross Dodgy stood on the verandah to announce the commencement of the forty weeks of renovations. For fifteen hundred days we have listened to Corporate Services barrage of messages, “Soon the refurbishment’s will be finished”, “We are providing for the resident’s future and a secure future for Dodgy Brothers” blah, blah, blah.

We have watched in awe as our Lifestyle Manager Inohim Dodgy a, true Vaishnavite and her predecessor Aden, prey on frail residents and their emotional families, dragging them on tours and then showing these hapless saps the fanciful plans for a renovated and refurbished Treestumps. “Honestly, the building’s almost finished, so let Treestumps and Dodgy Brothers care for you and your loved ones. Let them end their days here in peace and serenity”. And they believed her! I reckon Inohim could sell ice to the Eskimoes or at least to Fijian Indians.

Thus for four agonizingly long years the staff and a stream of frail and elderly residents have sweltered, been smothered in dust, deafened by concrete cutters, vibrated by jackhammers and choked by paint fumes and other noxious and nauseous chemicals. Upbeatedly Corporate Services who swan around in the lap of luxury at the Taj Mahal, inform us it will all be over soon. honestly!!! And then we can have a party!!! I wonder how Corporate Services will invite those residents who decided to check out early from God’s waiting room Treestumps? Ghosts are most welcome to attend the party as long as they bring a plate.

Now for a change in subject - an answer to the commonly asked question “Why has it taken me so long to update my wondrous blog? And the answer is that since my third missive - “Managing People Properly” or “Grow Your Own Mushrooms”, rated by The search engine giigle.com as one of the greatest blog epistles uploaded in this millennia, I have been helping Mark Latham write his latest bio-novel, occupied with setting up the Bundaberg Hospital Commission of Enquiry, answering bags of electronic spam mail, mainly pr0n, and responding in person to the myriad of fans who have so far made posts to my blog (three in all).

Therefore whilst you while away your meaningful existence, hungering for my epic sixth and next post, tentatively titled “Lobotomy or Bottle-in-Front-of-me?” and waiting for a placement in a Dodgy Brothers Aged Care facility, may I urge you to purchase several copies of the best novel ever written - John Birmingham’s first volume of his Axis of Time Trilogy in Five Parts – “Weapons of Choice!”

Rabbi Birmingham is one of my heroes. He publishes a Kabbalahistic Blog ‘Cheeseburger Gothic’ found at: http://birmo.journalspace.com/ well worth a visit. A former flatmate – Ellen D, gifted me a copy of Rabbi Birmingham’s seminal work “How to be a man” I have carried this manuscript, which is almost as richly illustrated as the ‘Book of Kells’, with me through every move I have had made since. It is verily a palimpsest for today’s emasculated society!

And now to some house-keeping chores. Firstly to Pauline R, a former DON of Treestumps with a penchant for creative writing, and who supposedly commented on my first memorable post, I would like to sincerely congratulate you on gaining Dodgy Brothers maximum allowable annual performance salary bonus. You are a worthy example of what Lifestyle and Care Managers may achieve by lying to, and shafting their staff in the back. I wish you all the best in the OzCare Witness Protection Program.

To my latest fan Ivan, the ‘hands-off’ physio-terrorist - a profound thank you! May your prolonged meditations and prayers to Mecca be never interupted by meddlesome residents. Dodgy Brothers needs more drones like you – selfless therapists who understand that for the empire that is Dodgy Brothers Aged Care, its rapid expansion is dependant on their tireless fictional documentation. Ivan you are truly worthy of your salaried position at Dodgy Brothers. I foresee it will not be long before you are invited to join the Corporate Service elite who toil in conditions unimaginably decadent and opulant, to the average frail and elderly resident, at the Taj Mahal, located next door to Brisbane’s best ALV dealership.

Ivan, I see that you are already awear of Dodgy Brothers latest recruitment slogan to bring the greedy and greedier to Corporate Services “We put the Car back into Care”.

For a brief glimpse into the future of Aged Care, I suggest you refer to “2006: an Aged Care odyssey”

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, IBM?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

We do Good.

It’s just after 9:30 pm on Friday as I begin the first of many drafts and revisions of what will hopefully become my fourth post to this blog. My shift partner Julia – one of the best and most caring AINs I have ever worked with, have finished our third and last nursing round of the afternoon shift, earlier than usual on account of their being less bowel movements to clean up and less urine soaked incontinence pads to change than is the norm for this round. C-wing is quiet. The forty odd residents are tucked in and asleep, except for the residents who are tied in (physically restrained, as opposed to chemically restrained), and Rosie, the ‘hobbit’ who is wandering the floor in her ragged nightie and bare feet giggling to herself and shouting ‘gedump’

While Julia tidies up, mopping the dining floor, wiping down tables, emptying the pad bins, taking the full linen bags to the laundry, folding and stacking the clean linen bags, etc, etc, I sit on a vinyl dining chair by the bed of Dave Alberts, holding his hand, stroking it softly. Dave is dying, his breath is laboured, his chest moist and I feel his legs twitch against my arm. Dave is a shadow of his former glory. Face gaunt, cheeks sunken.

A loud buzzer goes off, disturbing the evening’s peace. Olivia is hungry. Again. Having an hour ago had four Weetbix and an over ripe banana that Julia has scavenged from the kitchen. Now Olivia wants a vegemite sandwich and a cup of tea made in her own mug (which is of course dirty and needs to be cleaned first) – white with two tablets of sweetener. I head to the kitchenette to see if I can fulfill her latest request. Olivia is in luck. For a change, a jug of milk and half a loaf of bread have been left in the fridge by the ‘Hotel-Services’ staff. When I return with her request fulfilled, Olivia tells me she is in agony, as Bella, the shift's Registered Nurse had made a mistake, giving her at 6:00 pm two Panamax for her twitching toes, when she should have been given two Panadol. “I’m being driven out of my mind, can you ask Norma to give me two Panadol to counter the effects of the Panamax I was wrongly given?”

Bella is sitting at the Sister’s station, wading through the reams of documentation and report writing she is required to complete each shift. I tell her of Olivia’s woes. Bella tries to placate Olivia, informing her that the two drugs are one and the same. “NO THERE NOT!!!” screams Olivia. Here we go again. While Bella is away from her desk, the phone rings. Buffy, the Endorsed Enrolled Nurse (EEN) from B-wing is frantic. One of the night nurses has just rung in sick (ninety minutes before the shift is to begin). Buffy has rung all our casual staff and the staff who had put their names in availability book, but none of them want to do the shift. Is it alright if she starts to ring the nursing agencies? Buffy doesn’t want to feel obligated to do a double shift.

All is again temporarily quiet, except for the annoying hum the external air-conditioning units vibrating through the roof. Bella has given the OK for Buffy to start ringing the nursing agencies (I don’t like their chances – not this late on a Friday night). I sit down beside Dave again, and take his hand into mine. Dave opens his eyes briefly and seeing me (hopefully as a friend and someone who has cared for him) smiling, nods his head wearily and closes his eyes. Softly I speak to him telling him “It’s Ok, just relax and try to go to sleep, I’ll be here”.

When a resident is dying we like to keep their room softly lit at night. On Dave’s bed-side locker sits a cheap table lamp with a dimmish globe. When this nursing home was renovated to meet the 2008 building code specifications for Nursing Homes, new over-bed lights were installed in each room – fancy ultra-modern dual-fluorescent tube units with a longer brighter wattage tube facing upwards to bathe the room in Sahara like brilliance, and a shorter ‘softer’ tube facing down to light the bed head. However, perhaps to skimp on costs, only one light switch was installed to control both tubes. So when you turn the light on, a light source so bright it would do a klieg light proud, is produced. Not good when you attend to a resident’s care needs at night.

Holding Dave’s frail, bony hand softly in mine, I stare at the blotched and crinkled skin on his fingers and back of his hand, hanging so loosely, as if not attached to the underlying flesh. The tip of index finger is missing. His papery skin offers no resistance as I slowly, softly, rhythmically, move my thumb across the back of his hand like a metronome. I think back to just over a year ago when I held my father’s hand as he lay dying in a hospital bed.

On Dave’s bedside table is a framed photo of Bessie, his wife, taken sometime after they were married. She spent most of yesterday beside her husband’s bed, holding his hand stroking his face. The RN on duty yesterday morning had informed Bessie that Dave was dying. At 2:30 pm when I finished my shift yesterday I walked Bessie out of the nursing home to where she waited for a taxi. She wanted to go home to ring her daughters about Dave. I don’t know if Dave was a loving husband or a caring father. And I don’t need to know it. Although I suspect he was by the frequency and duration of visits he receives from his family. We are here to look after Dave.

Olivia buzzes again. This time Julia goes into see her. “I’m almost going crazy, please ask Bellaif I can have those two Panadol now to counteract the Panamax I was wrongly given at 6:00 pm as it’s almost 10:00 pm now.” Bella gets up from her progress notes to see her. “Not until 10:45 pm as you had your last lot at 6:45 pm”

Bella and Julia come into Dave’s room. It’s time to reposition him and Bella wants to give Dave a Panadol Suppository to make him more comfortable. We un-tab Dave’s incontinence pad to find him faecal. I go to fill a bowel with warm water, wasting several dozen litres of valuable Australian drinking water, while I wait for the hot tap to produce a tepid feed. Having cleaned him, Norma gives Dave the suppository and we turn him. He is now facing the other way in bed. I carry my chair round to the other side of the bed. I take Dave’s hand in mine and he stares at me with these big bottomless eyes. They are going right through me and I wonder what he is thinking. I can’t help think of every-time I had rushed through his cares in my daily attempt to fulfill all my shift’s nursing duties

The phone rings again. Buffy is desperate, none of the agencies have any spare staff to do the night shift on B-wing. Would Julia or I like to do a double?

At 10:30 the two night duty nurses an AIN and an EEN walk on the floor to relieve us. I give Dave a kiss on the forehead and say “I will see you tomorrow sir” Julia and I wash our hands, say good buy to Bella who doesn’t finish her shift till 11:00 pm as she has to give a handover to the EEN. Bella doesn’t think she will get out of here until almost midnight because with all the continual interruptions she has still a heap of documentation to do. Walking through B-wing we punch our time cards in the bundy clock and leave the building.
Checking my pedometer I note I have walked almost 14,000 paces. I’m sweaty, I’m sure I smell residents urine on me, there is a suspicious brown stain on my trouser leg, my feet hurt, my legs are tired and my heart is heavy. For an eight hour shift with week day afternoon penalties I earn before tax almost $135.00

Sunday, November 21, 2004

“Managing People Properly” or “Grow Your Own Mushrooms”

Before I begin with the topic of this third post, please allow me to digress into a short history lesson. Well known is the fate of SS Sturmbannfuehrer Wernher von Braun and 500 of his top rocket scientists, engineers and Executive Managers (EM), who at the end of the war fled their Peenemünde facility, so as to surrender to the Americans, while the Peenemünde site and most of the technicians and other workers were captured by the advancing Red Army. Not to mention the up to 20,000 slave workers, mostly inmates of the Mittelbau-Dora concentration camp who died constructing the infrastructure for the V-2 rocket project. An example of Corporate Services loyalty to its employees.

Less well known is the fate of those highly paid Reich Propaganda Executive Mangers, led by the great rhetorician and club foot, Dr. Paul Joseph Goebbels. Sadly Propagandaministerium Dr Paul, his lovely wife Magda, and their six children Helga, Hildegard, Hellmut, Hedwig, Holdine, and Heidrun all committed suicide on Labour Day 1945. Or did they…

Many of the Ministry For Propaganda Executive Managers, made successful careers for themselves after the war. For an example, I site EM (Executive Manager) Eberhard Taubert. EM Taubert was responsible for the law requiring Jews to wear the yellow Star of David (Judenstern), and credited with writing the script for the disgraceful 1940 anti-Semitic film “Der Ewige Jude” (The Eternal Jew). After the war a rehabilitated EM Taubert worked for the US government producing information kits that comparing Communists with insects and vermin needing to be eradicated. In 1972 EM Taubert was awarded the German Government’s Great German Cross of Merit by none other than Helmut Kohl, future chancellor of a reunified Germany.

To protect myself I now delve into an alternative reality - a fictional suppository. Suppose Subaltern Ramon Dodgy, Chairman and elder brother of our beloved CEO Ross, make contact with some of these Ministry For Propaganda EMs? Did Ramon assist several of these creative professionals to emigrate to Australia? Ramon, with his canny knack for sleeping through ‘no fewer than ninety State Managing Council’ meetings, may have been mentioned in dispatches whilst serving with the Post War Aged Care Occupation Forces. Perhaps it was Ramon who suggested Dodgy Brothers Aged Care operate its facilities on the Theresienstadt model of Aged Care Delivery?

Returning now to the reality of the dystopian present that is the of Aged Care Industry in Sunny Queensland in the spring of 2757 Ab Urbe Condita. I wish to reproduce with some minor changes an article from the current edition of: Cochise – 'The latest news from Dodgy Brothers Care direct to you'.

Managing People Properly
Dodgy Brother’s policy ‘to grow its own staff’ was recently recognised by the presentation of a prestigious national worker exploitation award. Earlier this year, Dodgy Brothers Care was presented with the Queensland ‘Award For Excellence in People Exploitation’ by the Australian Worker Exploitation Institute. In October Dodgy Brothers Care beat the other State winners to take out the National Award in the medium size/public or not for profit sector category.

Dodgy Brothers Care Chief Executive Officer Ross Dodgy said this Award recognised the innovative strategies the organisation had adopted such as the ‘career pathways’ model to attract, train and then retain skilled employees. Ross explained. “The workforce in the aged care industry is predominately female, part time and mature aged.

“We have made study fit around work and family commitments faced by these employees by offering our own in-house tertiary preparation programs as well as sponsored enrolment in university bridging programs. And we have backed this up with recognition and remuneration practices that progressively reward these people for boosting their skills.”


One may wonder why Dodgy Brothers Care would choose to name its tabloid ‘newspaper’ after a Native American Indian chief who led his people against the US army in what became known as the “Apache wars”.

Perhaps an answer to this minor conudrum may be found by asking one of Chairman Ramon's devoted neices and nephews-
Helga Dodgy EM - Media liaison;
Hildegard Dody; EM - Public Relations;
Hellmut Dodgy, EM - IRD (Information Research Department);
Hedwig Dodgy, EM - ‘Circumlocution Office’ - Containing the whole Science of Government;
Holdine Dodgy, EM - Acroynm and Anagram Development;
And last but not least, the lovely blue-eyed blonde
Heidrun Dodgy EM - Documentation and Forms Development.

The first reader of this blog who successfully solves this enigma wins a years supply of used, doubly bagged disposable adult incontinence diapers. These incontinent aides or pads, are a corner-stone of the twenty-first century, cost-efficient Aged Care Industry. During their manufacturing process these pads are bleached whiter- than-white using, what I believe is a chlorine bleaching process, producing as a by-product that wonderful group of POPs (Persistent Organic Pollutants) known as ‘dioxins’. Did you know that one of the many deleterious side effects attributed to dioxin poisoning is increased urinary and faecal incontinence. Just the effect an incontinence aide manufacturer would like to increase sales of their products. More on dioxins, disposable diapers, land fill and water table contamination in a future post.

Returning now to the article “Managing people properly”; I alerted a number of fellow employees to the existence of this article. Flatulence, choking, and snorts followed by derisive laughter and then tears most often accompanied the reading of this article. “You’re joking!!!”, “They can’t be serious”, “This isn’t about us”, were common refrains. Ivan, one of our ‘hands-off’ physio-terrorists suggested ‘ to grow its own staff ’ meant a breeding program. On reflection I have to admit there may be merit in this suggestion. I’ll have to ask the EM Eugenics, next time I visit the Taj Mahal, the humble building that houses Corporate Services workers.

Of course the article may be referring exclusively to Corporate Services, which is expanding at an exponential rate, or so it appears to those of us who work at the ‘coal-face’ of Aged Care. If Dodgy Brother’s Aged Care won the ‘ medium size/public or not for profit sector category’, I wonder who won the Australian Worker Exploitation Institute Big Business award? James Hardy mesothelioma Industries?

Buddha is credited with the quote "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your common sense." My ‘reason’ is not aligned with the author of the article.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Oxymorons

I love a good oxymoron, don't you? Obviously Adrian Skiles and John Shore (their real names, not pseudorandom-generated ones) do, for they have compiled "The Internets Best List of Oxymorons" found at
http://www.atlantamortgagegroup.com/oxymoronlist.htm
Browsing this list one finds 'Almost Never', 'Bitter Sweet', 'Common Sense', 'Deafening Silence', Exact Opposite', and hundreds-more every day figures of speech with conjoined contradictory terms. Alas three oxymorons missing from this list until I contacted them were "Care Industry", "Health Care Industry", and "Aged Care Industry".In the past I have submitted several letters to the editor of Brisbane's Courier Mail - A fine Murdoch newspaper (another oxymoron?) for publication. Unfortunately none have so far been published. My last attempt at submitting a letter to the editor was:


"Is aged care an oxymoron?"
Fifteen years experience as an Assistant-In-Nursing definitely leads me to believe that the Aged Care Industry certainly is.

I work for a not-for-profit Aged Care provider that has ambitions of becoming an industry leader, with an aggressive expansion and building program. The Commonwealth government allocates funding for the care of each resident in nursing homes and hostels based on the resident’s individual needs, calculated using a tool called the RCS - Resident Classification Scheme.

I believe RCS funding should be spent providing care to the individual resident, enabling the resident to enjoy as high a quality of life as funding allows.

Aged Care Industry executives appear to have a different belief. My employer deems that only 71% or 72% of RCS funding needs to be spent on delivering quality aged care – this is the industry average, or so my employer informs me. The remaining RCS funding is spent on corporate services, renovating and building new nursing homes and servicing debt.

Nursing and support hours are being slashed, supposedly because the 71% budget is being exceeded. Less care hours means less care. Less time each resident individually receives. Less time to help bathe, and feed a resident. Less time to listen to and help a resident with their concerns.

Should it become necessary to place my elderly parents in care, I shall certainly be asking the aged care provider what percentage of RCS funding do they spend on care hours, and I’ll also be checking out the quality and quantity of food the home provides it’s residents.

What do you think? Should I try to re-submit it for publication again? Am I too verbose? Could you suggest any improvements to this letter? Or am I just flogging a dead horse?

I submitted this letter shortly before my father died in October 2003. The Nursing home I work in and several other Dodgy Brother Care facilities had recently passed their second three-year accreditation, and Coorporate Services had just announced its fitting reward to staff for all their hard work: its intention to slash the roster by 3000 hours per fortnight across six of its care facilities, while employing a couple more staff at Corporate Services to 'grow the business'.

It appears to me that as care goes out the window in the Aged Care Industry to be replaced by documentation, more documentation, standards and accreditation, that Aged Care providers are changing their names to include the word Care in their title. The Aged Care Provider The St. Vincent De Paul Society changed its name to Ozcare supposedly to honour the Blessed Frederic Ozanam founder of the society. Then we have Anglicare Blue Care, Churches of Christ Care, Cook Care, RSL Care, Southern Cross Care, Tricare, and many more careless organisations.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Welcome to my dystopian world

Welcome dear readers to this, my first attempt at a web log. In this blog I hope to share with you the joys, the sorrows, and the frustrations, I experience and have experienced working as an AIN (Assistant-In-Nursing) in a high dependency aged care facility. Please be patient with me, and please do not hesitate to email me at robbie_beare@hotmail.com Criticism, either constructive or not is most welcome.

First a disclaimer: All the names, including my own, have in this blog have been changed, mostly using one of several pseudo-random name generators found on the internet, to either protect the guilty - the Aged Care Industry and its exorbitantly paid managers, or the privacy and dignity of the victims – the nursing home residents and the staff who directly care for them.

Should you wish to gain an insight into whom and what I may possibly be, I humbly suggest you read my profile for some hints. Aside from not being a son of Maggie, I am an employee of Dodgy Brothers Care, - Ross Dodgy's currently medium sized yet rapidly expanding empire which presently oversees 23 care (some may dare to think care-less) facilities and some 1700 human resources in the sunny state of Queensland, Australia.

In a utopian world, there would be the concept of “truth in advertising”, and my employer would be known to the wider community as ‘Dodgy Brothers Care’. However as we live in the real world where advertising rules and all that glimmers is gold, there is no such concept of truth and thus my employer is widely (wildly) known by a different, less truthful, yet more flattering name.

My employer knows me not by my Nom de Plume Robbie Beare, disloyal employee #00666, born 6/6/66. For if they did, I would most certainly now be unemployed. So if you know who I really am please do not tell the bastards.

I have worked as an AIN in Queensland for almost seventeen years. In this time I have worked in eight high care facilities, for five different employers both for-profit and not-for-profit, church-based and non-demoninational.

How then, does my current employer compare in the provision of Aged Care? My opinion is: on the whole, no better nor no worse than any other Queensland Aged Care provider. All Dodgy Brother’s Care facilities gained accreditation in the 2003 accreditation round. The nursing home I work in passed all 44 standards in August 2003, and indeed received several “Commendable outcomes" from the Aged Care Standards and Accreditation Agency http://www.accreditation.aust.com/index.html. More about this agency in a future post. Suffice now to say, I liken their efficacy to the Red Cross inspecting the Theresienstadt Concentration camp.

What then has prompted me - a meek and mild caring AIN to undergo a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde like transformation into the subversive Robbie Beare, a lean mean, nursing machine (de-emphasis on the lean)?

My employer is actively, even aggressively attempting to promote itself as the leader in the Aged Care Industry. I strongly believe it has no right to seek this position.